Incorporating children into the wedding

Another fantastic wedding weekend!!!! I was thrilled to officiate the wedding of John and Kathleen along with their three boys! Often we think of a wedding as the union of two people, but in reality it is much broader. It is the coming together of families. The wedding took place at the beautiful White Cliffs in Northboro, Massachusetts, and John and Kathleen had many unique elements. Kathleen was escorted in by her sons, who carried roses with the wedding rings attached. John and Kathleen wrote the vows that they shared with each other and kept them secret from each other until the ceremony. It was such a romantic touch.

After the couple shared their vows they spoke a vow with Devan, Troy and John and gave them each a family medallion. The boys knew that they had a very special role in this wonderful day!

The family medallions symbolize the love that binds them all together forever. The boys were told that they are a gift and blessing that God gave to them. Their parents promised that today, tomorrow and forever, they will love them, care for them, and that they are together as a family for life.

A customized ceremony truly made the day special for John, Kathleen and their families. Congratulations and best wishes for a long, healthy, and happy life together.

Walsingham Park - where the couple first met........

Natalie and Benjamin first met and then fell in love during their visits to Walsingham Park.  Thus, selecting a location in the park to exchange their vows was perfect!  The weather was splendid, and they exchanged their vows and along with their children, participated in a blended sand ritual.  A small, intimate, family gathering to celebrate in the park was just what they wanted!!  Rev. Kathy officiated and the day was lovely.......  Congratulations Natalie and Ben! 

Step Parent Issues with the Wedding Planning

Step Parent Issues

The Delicate Issue of Steps...

...And I don't mean the staircase you descend on your wedding day!

Consider yourself unusual if you and your spouse-to-be both have parents that are still married to each other (not your parents to your fiancé’s parents of course, cuz….well….that would be just…well….WRONG, but you know what I mean—both of your respective biological moms are still married to your respective biological dads!) I don’t have any firm statistics, but based on the number of couples I’ve seen, I’d offer a guess that only about one in 10 fit this mold. The rest of you have parental units that are some mishmash of divorced, divorced and single, divorced and remarried, divorced and living with a significant other, divorced and gay, or even divorced, remarried and divorced again. Multiply that by four and the possibilities for stress are endless!

The first thing you need to do is assess the situation. Remember that you are under no obligation to include anyone and everyone in your wedding ceremony. It’s your day! Easier said than done, however, if you are trying to be respectful to everyone but your mother won’t get near “that” woman and your dad will not acknowledge your stepfather’s existence. There are some however, some tips to get you through the worst of it.

Much will depend on the timing. If your parents divorced when you were young and the “step” was an integral part of your upbringing, then you will probably want to give them a higher level of involvement than the step who didn’t come into your life until your adult years.

For the most part (and I will acknowledge that there are exceptions to every rule) it is probably best to put a priority on the feelings of your biological parents—unless they just being plain unreasonable. Always mention them first and include in your ceremony in the highest places of honor. Generally, these include escorting the bride down the aisle, helping the bride get dressed (definitely reserved for your biological mom!)lighting the unity candle, the etiquette of being seated (i.e. bride’s mother is always the last to be seated, with the groom’s mother just before her), being given front row seats, inclusion in the prayer of thanks to parents, being thanked via a toast at the reception, inclusion in the receiving line (of there is one) etc.

Regardless of the closeness of the “step” relationship, please remember to give each parent (and “steps” are parents even if they are not biological ones) a corsage/boutonniere. It’s inoffensive to all, inexpensive, and subtle and the gesture will be appreciated.

Here are some other ways to include your step-parents in your wedding day, based on the comfort level of all involved:

Have your step mothers seated as part of the processional. Just make sure they are seated before the biological mothers.

If your stepfather has been an important part of the bride’s life, then think about having him escort you part of the way down the aisle, or joining you and your dad as you arrive at the front row. Check with your dad first!

Have your dad escort the bride down the aisle (in traditional fashion). When the officiant asks, “Who gives their blessing to this marriage?” ALL the parents (even the groom’s) can answer “We do.”

Have one of your step-parents do a reading or recite the final blessing.

Include your stepparents in the prayer of thanks to the parents. Out of respect for your parents, you’d have the officiant refer to your biological parents first, then your stepparents after that.

Blow off the entire idea of including any of your parents. Walk down the aisle alone (or with your groom) and just have all parental units be guests. That way, no one gets offended!

Have your biological parents do all the honors for the wedding, but include a special word of thanks to your parents AND stepparents in the program.

As far as seating goes, traditional etiquette (which can always be flaunted in unusual circumstances) dictates that married couples should be seated together. According to the rules of those etiquette mavens in the know, it should look like this (it’s the same for both bride’s and groom’s side, so we’ll just list the bride’s side). Your mom gets the first row and she should be seated next to her husband/significant other. Stepmom goes in the second row, seated next to your biological father. In cases where there is enough seating and everyone gets along, then all four parents (if there are that many) can be seated in the first row. The order should be (from outside in) mother, stepfather, father stepmother. Of course, if your father and stepfather are ready to kill each other, you’ll need to modify this arrangement. Use your common sense and get your officiant to help you—etiquette rules are there to make people comfortable. If following them has the opposite affect, then toss them and make up your own rules.

If the situation among your parents is really tense and you truly like and respect your stepparent but want to respect your biological parents’ wishes, then go along with your biological parents’ wishes for the big day, but be sure to arrange some special time with your step parents beforehand so that you can tell them how much you value them in your lives. Take your stepmother out to lunch, have dinner with the groom’s dad and his wife a week or so before the wedding. Make them feel special and let them know you are glad they will be there on your special day, in spite of possible difficult circumstances.

Alert your officiant and your wedding coordinator, if you have one, to possible volatile situations, sources of friction, etc. We’ve got experience in this field and a word from us in a recalcitrant parental ear often works wonders!

Bayou Country Club an awesome location for the Wedding and Reception!

Congratulations Heidi and Denver!!! The Bayou Country Club was the setting for the beautiful wedding of Heidi and Denver and joining as a family with their sons Keegan and Gavin. The sun was shining brightly and the setting was gorgeous. Heidi looked spectacular in her fitted gown, and the bridesmaids colors were lovely.  The couple chose to have blessing stones signed by their guests to wish them well.  They will keep them in their home as a symbol of the love and wishes of their guests on this wedding day.   The wedding cake was created by Publix, the music was by ML Productions Inc, Mobile Disc Jockeys, and the photography for the professional photos was Ashley Lafler of SunshinePhotos.com It was a beautiful religious ceremony, and I wish Heidi, Denver and their family, all the best.

Tiny German Lovebirds Elope to Africa!

This is a true story I read on www.parentdish.com



by Bethany Sanders Jan 6th 2009 6:00AM

Categories: Kids 5-7, Weird but true

Considering the impulsiveness of their decision, it was to be a beautiful wedding. A German "couple" packed bathing suits and sunglasses, then headed to Africa to get married "where it is warm." The nuptials were interrupted when the lovebirds were stopped at the train station and promptly returned to their parents.

Why? Because they were eloping at least 15 years too soon.

Mika and Anna-Lena, ages 5 and 6, are "very much in love," and decided during a joint family holiday celebration that they wanted to seal the deal. So they grabbed Anna-Lena's seven-year-old sister (an official witness), packed their bags, then jumped on a tram.

Had it not been for those pesky necessities like money and tickets, they may have gotten even farther. But the police at the train station got suspicious and brought them in.

Can you even imagine? Once the shock wears off, their parents are going to be re-telling that story for years to come. When my godson was born just a month before my daughter, my friend and I joked that we should just start planning the wedding now. But even if these families saw puppy love developing between these intrepid tots, I'm sure they figured they had at least a few years before the kids made it official!


Now I am all for planned elopments, but this one takes the cake!!!  Isn't love grand?!?!?!?!

A Lovely Love Story Cute Wedding Reading

This is a cute reading that is being done by two adults with a good sense of humor.

A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton

MATT: The fierce Dinosaur was TRAPPED inside his CAGE of ICE. Although it was COLD he was HAPPY in there, it was, after all, HIS cage.

KAREN: Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur. The Lovely Other Dinosaur MELTED the Dinosaur's cage with KIND words and LOVING thoughts.

KAREN: I LIKE this Dinosaur, thought the the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also TENDER and he is FUNNY. He is also quite CLEVER though I will not tell him this for now.

MATT: I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is BEAUTIFUL and she is DIFFERENT and she SMELLS so nice. She is also a FREE SPIRIT which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.

KAREN: But he can be so DISTANT and so PECULIAR at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. He is also overly fond of THINGS. Are all Dinosaurs so uncommonly fond of THINGS?


MATT: But her mind SKIPS from here to there so quickly, thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keep on SHOPPING. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on SHOPPING?

KAREN: I will FORGIVE his peculiarity and his concern for THINGS, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered INDIVIDUAL.

MATT: I will FORGIVE her SKIPPING MIND and her FONDNESS of shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with BEAUTIFUL thoughts and WONDERFUL surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on SHOPPING either.

KAREN: Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are OLD.

LOOK at them.

KAREN: TOGETHER they stand on the hill telling each other STORIES and feeling the WARMTH of the sun on their backs.

MATT: And that, my FRIENDS, is how it is with LOVE. Let us ALL be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs TOGETHER.

MATT: For the Sun is WARM and the World is a BEAUTIFUL place. THE END.

Clearwater Beach, Florida - Baptism of Little Jackson!

Ocean breezes, waves gently coming ashore, the sounds of the gulls overhead, the sun setting off in the distance....all perfect elements as we celebrated the Baptism and Name Giving of Jackson on Madiera Beach in Florida!  Jackson enjoyed the festivities, although playing and walking  in the sand seemed a bit more appealing!  Parents Kendra and Rob,their daughters Naiomi and Savannah and Godparents Rima and Robby celebrated the birth of Jackson and welcomed him into this world.  The Godparents and his sisters are aware of the awesome responsibilities they will share in serving as mentors and caretakers of Jackson.  What a lucky little boy he is to have such a beautiful circle of family and friends to share with him joy, hope, love and peace. Jackson was blessed with the waters of the ocean in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  The candle lit flame represents the light that will guide and protect Jackson throughout life's journey of tears and laughter, of joy and sorrow, and of happiness and sadness, and great love. Each year on his birthday, the family will light the candle until he reaches 18, and then it will be kept and relit on those special occasions that occur on the journey through life.

It is said that the more love a child receives, the more they will benefit in their lives, and the more love in turn they will be able to give to others.  The more people to whom Jackson relates, the more balanced and rich his growth will be.  My wish for you Jackson, your family and friends is this.......may life's richest blessings and joys be yours.  May you grow in health of body and mind to full adulthood, and may it be your good fortune to play a worthy part in making life more pleasant for those whose paths you cross.

Children's Readings for Weddings

If there are children involved in the ceremony, and they are able to read, I love to suggest some great children's readings. Here are two of my favorites. The first is called "I Need a Friend" by Sherry Kafka, illustrated by Samantha Smith. This reading works best if there are two children who can take turns reading.

All by myself, I can dig for treasure - But I need a friend to hold the map.
All by myself, I can grow a flower - But I need a friend to give it to.
All by myself, I can throw a ball - But I need a friend to catch it.
All by myself, I can tell a joke - But I need a friend to laugh.
All by myself, I can climb a tree - But I need a friend to give me a post.
All by myself, I can draw a picture - But I need a friend to look at it.
All by myself, I can eat a sandwich - But I need a friend to have a picnic.
All by myself, I can run -But I need a friend to race.
All by myself, I can skin my knee - But I need a friend to feel sorry.
All by myself, I can know a secret -But I need a friend to whisper it to.
All by myself, I can dream a story - But I need a friend to listen to it.
All by myself, I can play alone - But I need a friend for sharing.

The second book is called "Together" by George Ella Lyon, with
pictures by Vera Rosenberry.

You cut the timber, and I'll build the house.
You bring the cheese, and I'll fetch the mouse.
You salt the ice, and I'll crank the cream.
Let's put our heads together, and dream the same dream!

I'll drive the truck, if you'll fight the fire.
I'll plunk the keys, if you'll be the choir.
I'll find the ball, if you'll call the team.
Let's put our heads together, and dream the same dream!

You dig for water, and I'll make a pail.
I'll paint the boat, if you'll set the sail.
You catch the fish, and I'll catch the stream.
Let's put our heads together and dream the same dream!


I just love both of these, and if you know of other readings that are great for kids to read, let me know about it!!!

Bob and Heather from Arkansas!!

Bob and Heather came down to the Tampa Bay Florida area from Arkansas! It was a beautiful sunset wedding ceremony at Sand Kay Beach! I love the involvement of the children as they gave their mother away and the family was joined together with the sand ceremony. What a beautiful couple, the kids call him "Bear" and I can see why! He just loves her boys and they cuddle with him like a big soft bear!!! At the reception they called their grandad Pappa Bear! So cute. Hope you enjoy their pictures. Pay special attention to the cakes! The grooms cake is a Bass which was tasty red velvet cake, and the wedding cake was awesome. Can you believe the couple transported the cakes from Arkansas. Cakes were made by Shelly Lyons cake shop in Springdale, Arkansas. Jennifer of Shelly's cake shop was on the Food Network for surprise engagement cakes. How lucky we were to taste her great cooking. Have a look at Shellylynns.com The grooms cake was a Bass as Bob is a professional Bass Fisherman and part of the FLW for the past 7 year. Congratulations Heather and Bob, Reid and Cole!!!